


all the little pieces

by bittersnake



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Compliant, Flashbacks, Gen, stormtrooper childhood in the First Order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22606831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bittersnake/pseuds/bittersnake
Summary: the memory of a once lost child and future yet to come
Relationships: Finn & Jannah (Star Wars)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 31
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 5, Finn Centric Recommendations





	all the little pieces

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aelisheva](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aelisheva/gifts).



> HAPPY CHOCOLATE BOX!! Finn is one of my favorite characters and I was super thrilled to be given the chance to write about him for you!!

Holding the filter part sends Finn's mind back to the creche. 

It was a large space, but thinking back upon it, he’d so very small that everything seemed large then. There were easily hundreds of them-- all in grey, a stark contrast against the sterile brightness of their surroundings. He never thought of it as "home", it was just A Place. There were many places on that base, each with its assigned purpose: The Sleeping Place, the Eating Place, the Training Place. The creche was the one place that felt immune to "purpose"; in a way, it was the closest thing to "home". Not the same way that the Resistance felt with just the dull gentle hum of people--no, _individuals_ each doing their own unique thing but at that time in that sterile place of emptiness? Back then though? It was the closest thing FN-2187 had to “home”.

Years later, Finn realized that the "Cognitive Reasoning and Kinesthetic Space" was the closest the First Order could get to a “play” room but back then, FN-2187 treasured it. There was so much variety within that room: from target practice, which was always his favorite, to small pods that contained various mechanical puzzles. Those were not his forte but he remembers a girl that was always there.

He remembered some of the other sub-adults in the creche calling her _TZ._ They never directly interacted but they were all in the same classes. She wore the same uniform all the other sub-adults wore on the base. She was slightly taller than most, and utterly fearless even when captains Phasma and Cardinal came by to determine the next batch of troopers to transfer up. Yes, there was more than one fearless sub-adults in the creche, but she was the one the instructors referred to as "rebellious". TZ constantly flouted rules about attire; one day constructing a bit of pliable durasteel into cylinder to wrap about her wrist; another time constructing flora structures out of durasteel wires to weave among the coils of her hair; and another time, poking _holes in her ears_ and dangling small constructs of transparisteel dangling from them. But the thing FN-2187 remembers most is her eyes.

He never had a good chance to look her directly in the eyes until the one day in the "CRAKS" when he could tell she was frustrated as she sat absorbed with yet another mechanical holo puzzle.. (How could he tell when she was silent, he would ask himself later. How did he know? It was just...a feeling.) 

FN-2187 sat down next to her, looking at her hands busily fiddling with the contraption when, abruptly, she spoke, eyes still intently focused on her task. 

"Hand me that probe, please."

FN-2187 blinked and began to reach for one of the myriad tools arrayed in front of them.

"No, not that one. That's a holo-probe," she muttered.

He moved his hand again.

"No, that's also a holo-probe. It's to the left and up--yes, that one," she said taking the offered tool.

They sat together in silence. It was soothing, being in her presence. She worked quickly and efficiently, occasionally asking him for another tool or to hold something while she prodded at it. It was calming, they barely spoke to each other but somehow he just _knew_ he didn’t need to. Finally, there was a sharp shrill beep as the puzzle signaled it's successful completion. She sat up, rolling her shoulders, and looked at FN-2187. "What do you think is out there," she asked suddenly gesturing to the one transparisteel panel in the room on the ceiling. The stars stared back at them, shining out of the unending void.

"Um, well each planet has a galaxy and thus a fraction of them have planets and--"

TZ pulled a face. "You know what I mean," she replied exasperatedly. "What's _out there_? Why are we here?"

FN-2187 had heard this question before from other sub-adults and in every instance he gave the same answer that all their instructors at the base gave: "To restore order to the galaxy." But something in her eyes stopped him from giving the same rote line to her. They weren't dull like most of the sub-adults in the creche but instead it was almost like they were glittering with a liveliness he had rarely seen; it was like she was searching for something. As if she was searching for some broader destiny or purpose. And on some level, FN-2187 understood that. That desperation, that thirst for something meaningful in the universe. 

"I don't know." 

TZ smiled at this. "Maybe we'll find out together one day."

The next day, she and a handful of sub-adults were gone. Off to another base in preparation for the First Order. FN-2187 wondered sometimes if she ever found an answer.

Finn looks at T--no, _Jannah,_ and knows that she has.

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews and concrit are love. ^_^


End file.
